Forgive

I've been thinking about the issue of forgiveness the last couple of days.  We often say the words, "I'm sorry", but how often do we say(and mean) the words "I forgive you?"  AND does forgiveness mean forgetfulness?

Let's start with defining the word forgive
–verb (used with object)

1.

to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.

2.

to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).

3.

to grant pardon to (a person).

 

A good synonym for the word forgive is, one of my personal favorites, absolve.  I like that word, because it sounds  like dissolve.  When I hear the words, "I absolve you", I picture my sins dissolving into nothing.   They are no longer important.

 

So, back to my original query.  We often seek forgiveness, but how often do we give it?  We are supposed to forgive if we want to be forgiven, right?  Matt 6:14-15 says, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you, but if  you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will you Father forgive your trespasses."  That is pretty plainly spoken, I think.  If we hold onto anger, resentment, and hurt feelings toward someone who has wronged us, and yet we seek to be forgiven for what we have done, God is going to look at us and say "I'm sorry, you really need to get over yourself and forgive your brother first." 

I used to think that wasn't cool.  I mean, what I've done has nothing to do with what that inconsiderate person did to me, right? Or does it.  Is it a sin to harbor resentment?  Yes.  And what happens when we refuse to let go of our sin? 

We've all been there.  We all know that there are things we just can't give up or get over.  So, if we pray for the grace to forgive, and we do truly from the heart forgive the person who wronged us, does that mean we forget?  Does God forget?  If I were to commit a really big sin, like murder, and I realize it was horribly wrong and I ask God's forgiveness with a truly penetant heart I will be absolved of that sin.  I am clean, and in my heart and soul that sin no longer exists. I am truly sorry.  But what about the people we forgive who aren't sorry? 

I think that, when we forgive freely, even when we know the person we are forgiving really doesn't care one way or another, we are still benefitting both that person and ourselves. Why?  Well, it takes the weight of that burden off of us, we forgive them whatever hurt, hardship, resentment, anger, etc. that sin against us has caused so that we can move on with our lives and continue to pray for that person.  When we truly forgive, we can honestly and with Christ's love, pray for that person who has wronged us.  Do we forget what they did to us, well yes and no.  We can't hold on to it anymore, we have forgiven them, but at the same time we aren't stupid.  We don't just invite someone who doesn't acknowledge their own actions as wrong back into our lives.  If that person doesn't think they have done anything wrong, chances are, they are going to do it again and again until somehow they know they are doing the wrong thing. 

 

On the other hand, what if the person you are forgiving has sought your forgiveness and they are truly sorry.   They know they have wronged you, and they know that they need to be forgiven so that they can move on with their life as well and do the right thing from that point on.  Do you forgive and forget?  Yes, I think so. We have to look at Christ's example in this. He forgave the scum of the earth.  He dined with tax collectors and women who were "unclean" and he touched people who were sick and gross.  He forgave them their sins and told them to "go and sin no more."  They changed their lives, and that was the end of who they had been.  Jesus didn't care that Matthew had been a tax collector!! He didn't walk around thinking, "well, I forgave this guy, but I better be careful. Any minute he may shame me by returning to his old ways."  No, it was total forgiveness.  Total absolution.

 

So, I believe that forgiveness is given freely to us and that we are expected to give it freely to others as well.  I believe that we can't be absolved of our sins if we are refusing to forgive others.  I believe it is very important to who we are as Christians to live a life that gives example to others and forgiving is a huge piece of that.