Walking on Water

I was reading the daily readings for today.  The Gospel reading is Matt 14:22-36.  It is one of my favorites.  Jesus walks on water, and Peter attempts to join him.  For a moment, Peter has faith and trust  enough in Christ to stand amidst the waves and walk on water like Christ.  Then he looks around. He sees what is physically surrounding him. The waves, the boat being tossed. No doubt he takes his eyes off of Christ and no longer hears His voice, but instead he hears the sound of the water and the terrifying wind.  Having lived near the ocean in an area where sudden storms would arise, I know how scary that is.  Storms of that kind are loud and powerful.  What happened when Peter turned from Christ and focused on the things around him?  He began to sink.  As long as his eyes were on Christ, and as long as he held his gaze in faith and trust, he was fine.  No danger, no scary storm, no drowning.  But Peter turned away.  He allowed himself to focus somewhere else and his faith was immediately shaken.  In just a matter of a second in time, Peter risked losing his life, because of his momentary loss of faith in Christ.
Of course, Jesus was right there! He saw Peter's moment of panic and his distress in realizing what he had done and what was happening. As soon as Peter cried out to him, he reached for him and pulled him to safety.  He said, "Oh, you of little faith, why did you doubt?" 
Of the twelve apostles, Peter and Thomas are my favorite.  Thomas, the doubtful, who always needed proof, but who loved so deeply and followed so willingly.  And then Peter, the Rock, the foundation of the Church who denied Christ three times.  The one who seems to always be scolded for his lack of faith, or for speaking without thinking.   Peter, who asks to walk on water with Christ.  Ever doubtful, but always willing.  Was it that Peter doubted Jesus, or that Peter knew too well his own personal inabilities? It was simply, in the walking on water story, that he took his eyes from Christ and allowed his faith to falter.  How often do we do that? How often do we take our eyes from Christ only to find ourselves at some point calling out, "Lord, save me!" Just like in the story with Peter, he is always right there, waiting for us to call out to him, but we have the freedom to fall.  We have the free will to turn away and sink.  Notice that Jesus didn't jump to Peter and pull him up when he saw him sinking.  Peter first cried out, "save me" and THEN Jesus reached out his hand and pulled him to safety. 
I don't think Jesus would have let him die if he hadn't called out to him, but Jesus was one who liked to make a point, and poor Peter was always in a good position to have an example made of him. 
Think about the Peter who looked away, the Peter who denied, the Peter who fumbled his words, and was rebuked.  Then think about the Peter after Pentecost.  The Peter who faced death daily to preach the Gospel of Christ.  It is the difference between having something outside and in front of us that we can acknowledge, Jesus as he was as a man, and having something within us that drives out fear and regenerates our hearts and our souls so that we might be "perfect as the heavenly father is perfect."  But we have to choose.  We have to keep our eyes on Jesus and allow the Spirit to work in us and through us. We can look away. We can allow the distractions of the world around us to pull us under as the waves of the see in a storm.  We can lose our faith for just a second, and risk our lives. Or, we can keep our eyes on Jesus.  We can walk on water with him through the suffering, the pain, and the nightmares of this world and come out on the other side of that storm, having "persevered to the end."